Hisagi: why I think Ikkaku may be gay

bleachlists:


As requested by anon. :)


"Here at the Seireitei Bulletin, we would never, ever engage in crass yellow journalism about people’s private lives just to boost sales! But on an entirely different note, here’s an article about why Ikkaku is almost certainly gay."


1. He has never been seen dating a woman.

"In all of the long years that I have been a member of the Gotei-13, I have never seen Ikkaku on a date with a woman. Of course, this is Bleach, so I haven’t actually seen anyone on a date. With anyone. But still. It makes one wonder."


2. He doesn’t get nosebleeds around Matsumoto.

"It is perfectly normal for a straight dude to get nosebleeds around Matsumoto. Normal and nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. But Ikkaku seems unaffected by her considerable charm. As if he’s not sexually attracted to her at all."


3. He used to live and travel with another man.

"Namely, Yumichika. They’ve been together for a long time. Even before the Gotei-13 barracks, they lived and traveled together. As friends or as lovers? Only rampant speculation can give us an answer."


4. In the world of the living, he and Yumichika roomed together.

"So they are still living together! In comparison, Renji stayed with Urahara, Rukia stayed with Ichigo, and Matsumoto stayed with Orihime. Which proves, um, I have no idea. But Ikkaku and Yumichika were sleeping together! As in, next to each other. And that says something."


5. He’s part of an all-male squad.

"Okay, so Squad 11 isn’t entirely men. There is Yachiru. But on the whole, it’s a testosterone heavy squad. So if you were gay and wanted to join the Gotei-13, you might go with the super masculine all-men squad, right? In the same way that I would have joined the sexy lady squad. If there was one. …Hmmm, maybe I should write an article about redoing Squad 8…"


6. His shikai is a stick.

"And a stick is a phallic-looking object. What does it mean that Ikkaku’s soul produces a dick-shaped weapon? I believe it means that Ikkaku prefers dicks."


7. His hidden bankai just seems like a metaphor.

"Ikkaku is hiding his bakai. It might be a metaphor for how he’s really bad at keeping secrets, but it might also be a metaphor for how he’s gay. And so feels driven to hide his true identity even though everybody knows and literally nobody cares."


8. His life goal is to ‘die under Kenpachi.’

"I think that if your life goal involves being under another man, then it might be a sign that you are gay."


9. Yumichika said he was gay.

"At least, I think he did. The guy was very drunk. And slurring. But he almost certain said that Ikkaku was his ‘gay of light’!

"….It may also have been ‘ray of light.’ Man, this rampant speculation stuff is hard!"

hisagifukutaichou:


刈れ、風死 by みん@修兵好きさん集まれ!

hisagifukutaichou:

刈れ、風死 by みん@修兵好きさん集まれ!

hisagifukutaichou:


六車九番隊の日に by フィロ

hisagifukutaichou:

六車九番隊の日に by フィロ

"Uh… Why did you bring her and why is she so …energetic?  I’m fukutaichou and now she thinks she’s super fukutaichou and better than me…" So not lazy btw need we remind you we’ve been taking care of this entire division on our own, thank you.

GODDAMNIT HISAGI